Someone once said that God sub-contracts some of his best work to His enemy. By this, they mean that God allows his enemy to do certain things in the lives of people, even those who would call Him Father. It took me a long time to realise this. Yet looking back over decades of shaping by events, many of which were not what I would have wanted to happen, it is obvious that this is what has happened.
If I had known what the consequences were of getting married to Prince Charming I doubt very much if I would have gone ahead and got married. I didn’t so I did. Now I have more unhappy memories to look back on than happy ones. The scary thing is that what I once saw as ‘the good times’ or ‘the easy years’ are what others would have called difficult times. Yet I walked into that marriage believing that that was what God wanted.
The same with moving to a house built on land where the enemy did not just whisper because somehow he had built a loudspeaker system on it. Yet, it really looked at the time as though that was where God wanted me to live. Everyone who walked onto that land faced enemy taunts and directives were so strong that they spoilt the lives and changed their minds away from God’s best. I am not sure how he did it but looking back I can see that my mind was tormented by his evil words while I was on that land.
The two things together led to me gaining all sorts of experience about what life is not supposed to be like.
- The challenge of being who God wanted me to be despite his enemy shouting and tormenting me.
- The challenge of impaired thinking being exaggerated, even to the point of a mental health issue becoming severe enough to ruin the life of its victim and those around them.
- The challenge of financial survival when the main breadwinner lost their job every 4 or 5 years so ended up hearing more of the messages from God’s enemy on the loudspeaker system which only made their life harder.
There was more but I think you get the picture. Life was challenging. Eventually, it came to a head and I did something I have never done before or since. I screamed at God because I was so frustrated and unhappy. I said that I was stuck and that I wanted to get unstuck so that I could serve Him better.
That was the start of a journey. Shortly after I know call a catalytic scream Prince Charming gave me the order of the boot. I had wanted him to change and come more into line with me and the way I wanted to live but he wanted to live his life his way. I had tried living in his world but found it extremely uncomfortable so, to be honest, I was better out of it.
First I moved off that land, then out of that village then out of that region. Even two years after that catalytic scream it is hard to find anything about my life that had not changed in some way. I resorted to that catalytic scream early in 2005 and now I look back in amazement at what my life used to be like.
I have tried to make good on the promise to serve God better. It has not always been easy. I knew the sort of projects that I wanted to be involved in but the people I would have expected to support me didn’t. I tried to plant seeds and some of the people around me got together and managed to brew some very toxic herbicide. Little grew around them, including me.
The advantage of not growing was that when I felt as If I was being pulled to go elsewhere it was was to pull up the stakes and move on. Another advantage is that it has enabled me to learn new ideas and practise some things before I had the opportunity to sow seeds that could actually grow. Not so much time wasted as time spent preparing and learning new skills and ideas that will make the eventual outcome so much better. I had the opportunity to learn without spoiling things.
The journey continues
There is a sense that the journey of life never ends until life itself ends. When I started one project I asked God what He wanted it to become and I woke up the following morning with the dream of Lily’s Place. That is huge vision and you can read more about it on the page devoted to Lily’s Place. On another day I just sat down and wrote an account of a dream community. that had built up around Lily’s Place. You can find out more about Lily’s Place here and more about the dream community here
In the meantime, all that I do is seen in the light of progressing towards those dreams. When you read those pages I hope that you will see why I want to make progress towards fulfilling them. If they are something that lights your passion as well then come along on the journey with me. You can do this by
signing up for the email list here and checking out the Lily’s Place Facebook group here