Good question. I can only tell how it was for me.
I came home after a pleasant weekend away with friends at a retreat centre, walked towards my home and when I looked up at it my heart sank. My home represented so many problems.
I had made my own way home as my husband was too busy living his own life to even meet me part way. I got off the second bus I had used that day, walked around the corner and my heart fell as I saw the house looking like the unhappy forlorn place it had become. I walked in and felt so desperate that I screamed at God saying “I am stuck get me unstuck so that I can serve you better”.
He took me at my word. I did not have to do anything else and I was carried forwards by a series of choices made by other people. Within 12 months I was divorced, my job had come to an end and I had started the process of setting up a business.
Two years later I tried to work out what had stayed the same. I had moved home twice, once to a flat round the corner and then to a house in a new community. I had renewed damaged relationships with my family after all the hassle of previous years. I was no longer in touch with the people who had made my life so unhappy for many years.
My life was very different. The strange thing is that it was only once I was out of that situation I realised just how bad it had been. Others could see it but I was determined to soldier on no matter what. There again later when they discovered more and more of the story they were horrified.
Getting unstuck was only part of the story. I had to rebuild my life. Thank God my family welcomed the prodigal home with open arms.
There were loads of issues some practical such as making a home and finding a way to financially support myself. Some more personal like recovering from the past so that it did not affect the future and then finding a way to step into that future.
In a way it is the number and variety of issues that needed to be overcome that made it so hard. It became more difficult when I said God I would like to use my experience to help others. Help where do I start?
I felt as if I was wandering around a maze looking for the prize at the end but finding only finding dead ends. I could see the prize so I would have to retrace my steps and try again and again. At least each time I tried I learnt more about what not to do.
Eventually I came up with a twelve stage process that I now use to help me blossom in just about every area of life. That was so helpful as I actually had a sort of map to follow that would help me make progress one issue at a time. I will send you an overview of this process if you put your email in the box at the side. Oops I nearly forgot you might not know what I mean by blossoming. When I looked it up in my dictionary I saw the words survive, thrive, prosper and succeed. Now that is what all of us want to do isn’t it.
P. S. The prize at the end. The development of Lily’s Place. Somewhere that would provide for just about every need that people in mental distress and who need to make a fresh start in life could have. That is another story for another time.