Some people say that they deserve bad things. After for some people experience has taught them that good things are for other people and not for them. In their hurt and pain they have learnt that it is right for them to go without and to have less than other people. It might sound extreme but I know that this is one excuse that people use because I have used it myself.
Lessons from Susan’s wardrobe
OK before you think I am going completely off my head here I had better explain the circumstances. I had a wardrobe full of clothes and I decided it was time to sort them out. I started with the T shirts. I had a good look at them and any that had holes in them, no matter how small, were put on one side. The rest were put back in the wardrobe. I was amazed the pile of T shirts on the bed grew and grew. When I had finished sorting them there were 23 T-shirts on the bed all with small homes in them.
The following morning I got up and looked in the wardrobe to look for one of the T-shirts I would normally wear. I could not see the one I wanted. Oops it had gone in the bag of T shirts that were going to be taken to the charity shop. I looked for my second and third choices and they too had met the same fate. It dawned on me that I had been wearing T-shirts with holes in them more often than I had been wearing ones without holes in them.
Ouch did I really think that I should be wearing T-shirts with holes in. Did I really think that I did not deserve to wear a T shirt that was not worn or damaged in some way? I had made the choice to take all the damaged or spoilt T shirts out of the wardrobe now and there was no going back.
It is more common than you think
This feeling of not deserving something shows how people, especially women, see themselves. We tend to label this as lacking self esteem. It is such a common belief that one brand of hair products used by women has adverts that suggest that they should use that brand because they deserve it.
If someone has low self esteem or lacks self worth then they will not do things that make themselves feel good. They will seek out and stay in circumstances that reinforce that belief and struggle to leave situations where they are being harmed.
If we do not think that we deserve something then we will not work towards it. We learn to do the right things but somehow it does not work out. Sometimes everything else can be in place for success, but if we do not believe that we can be successful, we do not succeed. If we cannot take that step of self belief, we cannot succeed.
I made the choice and got rid of all the T shirts with holes in them I made it so that I could not continue doing what I was doing. Some of the choices I have had to make in relation to this have not been as simple or as easy. Yet we have to make a choice. Do we accept the lie that we are not good enough or do we reject it.