stage 08 part 3 Dealing with negative relationships

c. Dealing with negative relationships

Have you been around someone whose thinking is influenced by drugs or alcohol?  Or have you ever been in a situation that is so emotionally charged that you are carried away?  In both cases, the responses and reactions are not what they would be in a different situation. Later when the effects of the situation wears off you realise what you have done and you regret it. You may see the bruises from the fight that you got into. You might see the documents that say that you are the owner of something that you cannot afford. While you were under the influence of that substance or that emotion you have done something that you are ashamed of or that causes you problems.

The first step in repairing the damage from that kind of situation is usually forgiving ourselves for the mistakes that we made while under that influence and unable to think straight. The next step is to rebuild the relationships that were damaged again this often requires asking for forgiveness. Of course, it goes without saying that others will accept our request for forgiveness more readily if we are willing to change our ways and not make the same mistake again. There may be other things that we need to do in practical ways such as seek hospital treatment for the damage that we have done to ourselves or the things around us such as broken bones or broken ornaments. We may need to check the terms of the agreement that we signed to see if there is a cooling down period so that we can withdraw it gracefully. In other words, the first step is to repair as much of the damage caused as possible.

The other side of the coin is a lot tougher to handle. No one should have to put up with abusive behaviour. Imagine what it would be like to attend the funeral of someone who had been abused by their spouse and eventually killed by them. It would be even worse if you knew that they had stayed at home with them because they were advised to continually forgive them. There has to be a point where a relationship has to end, yes even a family relationship. The level of harm becomes too great for it to continue. Hopefully this will be a temporary situation as those causing the harm will find ways of changing their personal situation so that the relationship can be restored at a later date without either party coming to any harm.

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