b. Focus on what we have rather than what we do not have
One form of unhealthy thinking is concentrating on the things that we do not have rather than what we do have. If we do this we will struggle to see the positive things in our lives. On the other hand, if we concentrate on what we have then we will grow healthy thought patterns. Nick Vujicic, who was born with arms and legs found it hard as a child to see his disability in a positive way. In fact he says that as a child he thought about trying to drown himself in the bath because all he could see was what he did not have. As an adult he has discovered something that he does have i.e. an ability to talk to others and motivate them to achieve great things.
We can be like that. We wonder what on earth someone like us can do. What skills and experience do we have that could help us become someone who changes the world around us? It is surprising what skills we do have. How can anyone help someone be a good mother unless they have experience being a mother themselves? They used to say that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. This meant that although the main responsibility women had in that era was to bring up children. This meant that could bring up a child who was a powerful influence on the world. They might not be one who changed the world themselves but their role could be to prepare someone who could do it.
It is so easy to focus on what we do not have and not notice what we do have. When we take a picture with a camera there are times when part of an image is sharp and in focus whereas the rest is blurred and fuzzy. The problem is that the way that the camera is set means that only part of what is in front of us can be in focus at anyone time. The part that is not in focus fades into the background. Our thinking can be spoilt in a similar way.
It is therefore important to focus on the right things i.e. the good things that we want to grow and expand in our lives. One way of doing this is to make a list of the things that you are grateful for. I am reminded of the child who when asked what she was thankful for started by listing the furniture in her bedroom. What we do have may be quite limited but we all have something that we can be thankful for. We can give ourselves quite a surprise when we recognise what we actually do have.