c. What we achieve depends on how we play the game
If we play a game with the intention of not losing then it is very difficult to win. We may feel as though we are facing an opponent who is larger and bigger than ourselves and therefore try to play the game by stopping them from winning. If all the players are defending the goal who will be available to make an attack if the opportunity arises? In this situation the aim of the game is survival. For some people their need for security and the fear of losing means that they struggle to play to win. People who take this approach will find it difficult to analyse why they are not blossoming because they are frightened of what they will find. They would rather stay as they are and not face the challenge of thinking about changing.
If we play the game with the intention of winning there is the possibility of both winning and losing. We can minimise the risk by setting up contingency plans. We may decide that the cost of losing the game is higher than we can accept and therefore withdraw from the game. However, we cannot win unless we decide to play the game. People who take this approach struggle to work why they are not blossoming.
There are some people who play the game with the intention of winning by a large margin. These are people who are prepared to make a lot of effort. They train hard. They play hard. They take hold of all the opportunities that are open to them. These are the people who want to work out what they will need to do to blossom. Blossoming can have different levels. Some are big bold and showy others are smaller but are still important in the overall scheme of things. The important thing is to blossom and reach their full potential.
There are others who want to win but also want to be comfortable. They will not put as much effort in and therefore the results they obtain will not be as good but at least they will do better than those who do not try at all. They will look see some reasons why the are not blossoming and deal with those that they find. Their lives will improve but not as much as those who seek them out enthusiastically.
Another way of thinking about playing the game is the level of commitment that we show. If we show a great deal of commitment and put a lot of effort into reaching a goal then we are more likely to reach it. We may say that we want to win but somehow the level of commitment that we show does not reflect what we say. Our level of commitment may be the reduced because the old limitations still have an effect on us. It is as if we are double minded. A double minded person is unstable in all their ways because they do not know which way to turn. The only way to win the game is to go after the results we want whole-heartedly. We can only win if we have decided that this is what we want and we know that this is our only alternative. There can be no excuses, no ifs no buts no maybes, no hesitation no pulling back, just total commitment if we are going to win.
To change the metaphor around a bit there is another saying that if you aim for the stars and then do not achieve all that you want to achieve then you have the possibility of reaching the moon. In other words if you try very hard to reach a target that in the end is actually impossible you will still do better than if you did not try at all.
Another thing that we need to recognise is that if we are going to achieve something more than what we already have done then we need to do something different from what we have done previously. We cannot do something different if we think that we were doing the right thing and that there was simply some kind of unforeseen response to it. If we think we have it all figured out and we have nothing more to learn then we limit ourselves and make it harder to learn any further new ideas or attitudes. We cannot do something different and remain the same person. If we want the situation to change, we have to be prepared to take action