stage 08

Cultivate healthy relationships

No man is an island we all need other people. Few of us are able to grow all our food, make our own clothes, repair our homes and all the other tasks required to live a comfortable life. That is before we start thinking about the everyday circumstances of our lives such as family, work or business.

Earlier it was stated that we should not blame others for the circumstances that we find ourselves I because we are responsible for the choices that we make. However if we are to take action to see things change and we don’t just need to cultivate healthy behaviour and healthy thinking we also need to cultivate healthy relationships.

a. Birds of a feather flock together

We have all seen people who have got into bad company and been led astray. On the other hand, some people deliberately aim to associate with people who are going to have a positive effect upon them. The expectation is that their courage, optimism, tenacity etc. will rub off on us. Other things that can be infectious and helpful include joy, hope, wisdom, fortitude and a strong work ethic. When you are with positive people it will help revitalise you.

It is not just bad behaviour that can affect us but negative attitudes. This includes doubt disbelief and cynicism. If we spend time with people who struggle to believe that we can achieve our targets we will have to fight to hold onto our own positive values. Some could doubt that they have the stamina or skill to achieve their target if they are around people who are a bad influence on them. This is why we need to choose who we will associate with wisely. If we are going to change our lives, we may need to change our friends, especially the ones who are going to discourage us from doing the right thing and encourage us to do the wrong thing but more about that in the next section.

The problem here is that we will continue to get into a variety of difficult circumstances if we do not change the way that we think. They say that people with problems tend to develop relationships with other people with problems. Somehow, they become magnets for people with problems. It is just another aspect of the idea that birds of a feather flock together. If we struggle with this issue then it is easy to get into difficulties simply because of the people who we tend to mix with. Some on the other hand can be strong enough to stand up against such influences.

We need to be aware of the problems that mixing with people who encourage us to stop doing the things that we should do can have on us. If people are having a negative influence on them then we need to consider how much contact we should have with them.

check this carefully why is there a gap here

How do you find the right kind of people to associate with?  If you are trying to build up a business you should consider joining one or more business clubs or networks. We can also take advantage of a coach or mentor. These relationships could be nurtured via the phone, email, video conferencing not just on a face to face basis. In addition, there are positive blogs and books to read, positive CDs and mp3 files we can listen to and positive videos DVDs to watch.

Changing a negative habit takes time and effort. It can mean finding supporters or accountability partners. In fact the traditional twelve step programme involves finding people who will stand by you and ask you how you are doing and encourage you to make progress. They are also people you can turn to for additional help when you need some additional resolve to go forwards rather than backwards. This is something that is easier to do in a community or family setting where people are willing to help polish and improve each other.

 

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