As I write this it is Thursday and I have been so distracted by doing stuff that I am looking at my jobs to do list and it is growing rather than shrinking. It is a perennial issue with me. It is like being on a hamster wheel busy busy busy but never getting anywhere. Always a bit more detail to attend to a few more things to do before I get finished.
I can plan and visualise but then when it comes time to put something into action it is a struggle. I have some lovely things worked out in my head. I can write up a good plan. Yet that is as far as it goes. Typical dreamer always thinking but never doing.
In fact for some of us it is so much easier to dream and to think about what to do. In fact the reality is that this is the way we were made. We just cannot finish things off. We need a finisher. Someone in our team or close circle of family and friends who struggles to get started and would love to pick up the things that we start and finish them.
The problem is I work on my own and there is no team around me. Some of those who once were on my side have found me so hard to push to get things done that they have given up trying, Its hard work and quite a commitment to get me to complete tasks. I suppose I have even stopped believing in myself that I can get things completed, even if I try.
I leave a trail of unfinished projects behind me. I have unfinished sewing projects that go back 2 or 3 decades on my craft shelves in my bedroom. This summer I started sorting out some boxes of papers, organising them into boxes so that I can find them when I need to refer to them again. I got them nearly done and then I realised I had used boxes that were too big to handle so next summer when I am fit enough to do them again I will have to move them into small boxes that I can lift more easily.
The problem with sorting out the boxes this summer was that they became a good excuse not to do something that I was struggling to finish off. They became my summer distraction. OK in one sense it made things easier as they had been a burden on me for a while. I would walk past them and think I should really do something about that situation so it became a constant drag on me.
Of course once I got started and I had gone past the early this is OK stage and moved onto the this is hard work stage I was looking for something else to do. OK with this being a big task I could break it up into sections and tackle it bit by bit each day. In the end I did let that big task drop off my jobs to do list. Then when it started to look as if I would need surgery that would make it hard to bend or lift for about three months I realised that I had to do something before I went under the knife. So I spent a few hours making my piles of boxes look more presentable.
I now have a plan to finish off sorting the boxes out using smaller boxes in that room and using the larger boxes elsewhere in a few months time. I have made progress but there is still an item on my to do list that says sort out the boxes in the bedroom I use as an office. There is a lot less to do this time around.
Well today there have been some. The God’s Lily Training Website as been tidied up a bit today. I have made quite a bit of progress setting up the Core Training Programme. Hopefully it will be possible to release it by the end of the day tomorrow.